All is Well....

A quick update:

I'm CANCER-FREE!!!! No detectable additional growth anywhere the doctor can find which is an immense relief!

However, my oncologist told us that we are still at somewhat of a risk (a very small risk, I believe) for mutated cell growth which then turns into an aggressive cancer called Choriocarnioma.

This sounds scarier than it is, I promise!

This type of cancer is the wish-list kind... meaning if anyone were to ever have to choose what kind of cancer to have, this one would be it. It reacts VERY WELL to chemotherapy. And the best part, the chemo that is used is incredibly mild and tolerable.

So... here's the plan thus far. I'll go in once a week and get a shot of a chemotherapy called Methatrexate. Why? To blast any and all cells that could turn into cancer once and for all. This is prevention more than anything. This will be the case for a while as we watch my HCG levels (pregnancy hormone that is an indication of either a baby or this type of cell growth) and when my levels get down to less than 5 (I'm currently at 135,000) and stays below 5 for 3 consecutive weeks, then the chemo will discontinue. I asked my doc what the time frame looked like. He said anywhere between 6 months to a year, then we should be cleared to start trying for another baby!!! This makes me a very happy woman!

Now, about how I feel.

I feel RELIEVED. I know things will be okay, better than okay.

I feel so GRATEFUL for my health and especially the health of my family.

I feel OPTIMISM.

I feel sad at times, but that's all part of the whole crazy situation.

But mostly I feel LOVED. I feel so much support and love from all of you.

And for that, we THANK YOU from the bottom of our hearts.

Today was my first shot of meds... things went great (except for the fact that I was rolling up my sleeve for the shot and the nurse laughed and said, "Nope, gonna have to bare your butt instead". Nice.



My bum hurts.

A Walk in the Park

This post is mostly for Hi Suk, my birth mother, since it's been WAY too long (in Grandmother time) that I've posted pictures of Ava. So, really, this is a shout out to ALL those Grannies out there needing a fix....

Oh and the rest of you folks who happen to be non-grandparents ... yeah you.



We walked to a park yesterday to feed the ducks and tromp around in the weeds. It was a perfect Sunday and we were happy!

I took along my camera and I'm so glad I did... for Ava didn't run from me wielding the dreaded "kam-wa". It was pretty miraculous- let me just tell you that trying to squeeze in a photo shoot with the girl is worse than getting a root canal.

She's usually a blur across the screen.

Or she's crying.

Or has really crazy bird's nest hair.

Or snot running down her face, and into her mouth.

Or she decides that right then and there would be the perfect time to take off her clothes.
Naked. Nekkid. Bare Butt Nay-kid. It's awesome. Proud mom here.

So here are a few non-snotty, not-blurry, fully-clothed pictures of Sassy Pants Magoo.

I LOVE the way this Seventies Action makes pics look.... (I edited all of them with this seventies theme. Not that I really need to state the obvious)

I wish I were born in the seventies, maybe I could look like this; cool, muted, toned-down, dusky.

But then again, nah... I'd be WAY older than Taylor... and then I'd be considered a cougar. Right?

We encourage our daughter to pick weeds and put them in her mouth for the sake of a good Farmer-esque photo.


...just make a wish




Lucky Parents we are!


Shes' still got a mass of crazy curls, but in the spirit of girlishness and make-overs and boredom, I straightened Lou's hair out a bit. Despite the fact that post-nap coifs are always a tad out of control.




Wow, even Seventies' silhouettes are cooler than the ones made in boring ol' 2009


This isn't the most flattering picture of me and all my "friends" I tuck into my neck... but Ava had just finished giving me a kiss.
A puppy kiss.
Her tongue dragged from the bottom of my chin to the top of my forehead.
Then she barked.

I'm destroying 101 Dalmations. It's a goner.


Lollygagging on the playground. T really was happy about it... he just thought I was video taping him (which I was eventually) and was trying to hide. Behind the two year old.






Well, Taylor and I are going to the oncologist in an hour...

We will just have to see what he says!

Stay tuned....

The Ups and Downs of Life

I've FINALLY chosen to fill ya'll in-- It's wordy... and sadly lacking in photos... and a roller coaster of events! So, strap in and let's GOoooooooo.....

Don't get excited... this is just where my story begins. I was due in March... the PERFECT month to have a baby in my opinion. Leprechauns, March of Dimes, March Madness, all good things in March (oh, I'm not a fan of basketball.... just like that they have a name so close to my blog url).

Anyway, elated was just the tip of what we were feeling... I just felt ready. And if you know me at all... just feeling ready is a really really big deal. I'm no Kate Gosslin or Mrs. Dugger... no ma'am... not me. But for baby number two, I was just READY and flushed with happiness about it.

Week 8: started to spot (oh, an by the way, this post ain't for the light of heart... so if you're not a chickee who knows about these things or a hubby who has been desensitized to the horrors of placenta-talk... walk away now). Devastation. I was horrified. Not another miscarriage. This would be my third. It just didn't seem right since I was SO tired and sick (not AS sick as I was with Ava, but SICK nonetheless). I was scared.

I did nothing about the light, intermittent spotting for 2 weeks. I was still hopeful. I really did feel pregnant still.

Week 10: finally went into the doctor. The hospital ultrasound found something strange. A tumor-like mass in my uterus. I was sent to a specialist (who in fact was my doctor for Ava's birth... I thought I'd be wild and change up docs for this baby). His ultrasound tech found the same strange mass. So I was immediately lain (laid?) down for a D&C just there in his clinic. All went fine, he said, as left me to recover. No follow-up appointment made.

For the next 5 and a half weeks I bled. I bled copious amounts of blood. And I STILL felt pregnant. Very very pregnant still. Tired all the time, nauseated, and weak. We chalked it up to the heavy bleeding. I'm telling you... it was NOT pretty.

Frustration, Exhaustion, Anticipation.

FINALLY I was talked into going back to the doctor (obviously you get that I really really am not someone who believes in their own pain level... I honestly thought I was just imagining the horror.

At the clinic, the doctor flippantly tells me that it's probably just a little residual tissue that's causing the bleeding. He doesn't care that I am completely dog-tired. Or nauseous. Or hurting badly. Or scared. He does this procedure (without anesthesia or numbing me at all) and the pain was horrifying. After he left, he was still confused about why I was bleeding so much, he scheduled me an appointment for the next Monday to come in for an ultrasound.

I laid on the bed for 30 minutes. Hurting. The pain was searing hot and burning me from the inside. I couldn't move or even lift my head. So I laid there and cried. And prayed a lot. I somehow got home, crawled inside and fell into Taylor and wept. For the first time, I really let it out. T held me and prayed with me and for me. I was just empty. And confused.

Come Monday and we both went to the clinic together. When Doc started the ultrasound up, an image popped up that was completely foreign to me. Everyone was silent. Even the nurse stepped up to the screen to take a closer look.

Doc: "Wow. Uhhhh.... this is.... Wow. "

silence. We're waiting to see what this was. It looked like a large bunch of grapes in my uterus! Or swiss cheese. Or I was having 19 babies all at once.

Finally T and I say at the same time: "what is that?"

Doc: "I'm 90% sure you're having a "Molar Pregnancy". Which is an abnormal growth of the placenta. There's no wonder you still feel pregnant (oh so he WAS listening!!) and from the looks of this, the pain must be unbearable (praise be, he heard that too!)."

He went on to explain more about the diagnosis and that my case was the worst he has seen in about nine years. Nice. Good to be remembered.

Taylor told him that I've been having severe tension/pressure headaches for the last 4 weeks. (I'm a wuss... I still have a hard time telling the Doc that I'm hurting anywhere that he can't see). That's when Mr. Doc kicked it into high gear. Immediately checking my eyes (for i-have-no-clue-what) and got me an appointment with the hospital for a suction D&C right away. He left the room telling me to go to the hospital immediately and he'll meet me there.

My emotions?

Total relief. Relief that it wasn't just in my head. Relief that there was an actual reason for all this craziness. Relief that my bad parenting for these last months weren't for nothing at all. I was just relieved.

Had to go to the hospital now.

Taylor and I parted ways, he had to go get Ava from the sitter's and he would wait for a phone call to come and fetch me after the procedure.

The last thing I remember saying when the nurses were putting me under the anesthesia....

"I'm so sorry I didn't shave my legs"

I think I heard someone snort.

What Ev.

After the BEST sleep I've had in over 2 months, the nurses brought me out of my fog after the surgery and my doctor's floating head told me, "Everything went just fine, Katy, I removed almost 1 and a half pounds of placental tissue". Ahhhh... that's what I've always wanted to hear while being woken up from a sweet slumber.

I felt.... Good. Just good. I knew that it was gone and my body rejoiced at the lifted burden. I could breathe now. No more pain. No more headache. It was all just gone. Relief.

The x-ray came out clean and I was discharged to go home. I could have skipped the whole way home... I was just so much lighter and free-er (?). But I didn't skip home, because I was still doped up and loopy. But you get it.

The doctor wants me to come in tomorrow for further instructions as to what will happen now.

He did tell me this. I'm not out of the woods yet. The molar pregnancy (abnormal tissue growth) could come back. Also, there's a 20% risk that this could turn into a cancer that we'll have to take care of with chemotherapy (however, this is the kind of cancer that is very easy to cure). We will have to watch my body very closely for the next 12 months through exams and blood tests. If it's not cancer, then I could start trying for another baby. If it is, then that's a few more years of waiting.
That means NO BABY for at least year. No trying to get pregnant. Nothing.

Devastation. I am shattered over this news. I just don't want to wait that long to get my family going again. The thought of this makes my heart just ache and I am really trying to keep a happy face for those I love, but I'm sad. Very sad about this. So now I leave you feeling all tired again. And very helpless. Don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for my good health and for answers... but this isn't the answer I want. I'll try to keep you all updated, but please don't be surprised or offended if I slack at blogs, emails, phone calls, facebooking... I'm just trying to heal completely.

Pray for us?

Five Fabulous Years

Happy Fifth Year Anniversary!!

I know everyone says this, BUT:
* It feels like just yesterday that we knelt across the alter to say Yes.
* I'm having a blast with my best friend.
* We fall in love more and more with each passing day.

Ok. Whew... got all those cliches out... now to the beef!

I'm gonna dive headfirst into some of the ol' archives.... so very sorry, T-- you're gonna blush a few times.. fair warning. But it IS my blog, ya know!

Meeting and dating Taylor was fantastic. It was SO fun and insanely easy to fall in love with him. We didn't date for a long time (eight months from the day we started dating to the day we got hitched up) but I think it's because it fell into place so easily... I felt safe and happy and all those other gooeyloveybutterflyish feelings every second of every day with T. Still do, in fact (but that's another cliche, isn't it?)

This is the best "gooeyloveybutterlyish" face I could muster. I particularly like the flower behind T's ear... oh the things he had to do to impress me.


On a date with my roomie, Anna, and T's roommate, Mitch... who got married too!!
I know, I know... walking cliches! But we wouldn't have it any other way, we had such a great time together!


What a terrific boyfriend Taylor made... I loved those days

Our engagement pictures were fun/funny. A good friend of ours took them for us... she's the sweetest and we miss our favorite Alaskan princess, Jocelyn.

Typical US. Not paying attention to the camera... watching the park "Frolfers" (you know, Frisbee-Golfers... don't act like you don't know what that is!) work their magic on the course.


About 50000000 ounces lighter and much more hair... we were hairy skinny fools in love. *Ahhhh.... nostalgic sigh*

This one cracks me up... there's a whole series of these pictures with T's hand resting on my head... I don't think we knew it was there... but looking at them sends us into fits of laughter.
I like to call this, "Down, Fido"


Wedding!
Susan, lovely Susan, just send me her photos they took of the big day.
Domo Arigato, MamaSuisse!!
I won't stick very many of the serious ones in... just because we all need a good laugh once in a while.


oh, okay... one semi-respectable one for the road. Mmmmm... T's a handsome groom, isn't he?


Alrighty... this one cracks me up because the family wanted pics of the masculine groom swinging his blushing bride up into the air and twirling her around in a magical cloud of tulle and more tulle.
It WAS magical...

until I heard him panting.

And Gasping.

For Air.

Literally...

He was grunting under my weight.


It was. SO. Romantic.

I laughed so hard I think I started to drool a little.
We make such a classy couple.


hahahah!!! I'm laughing as I type this right now!!
Ok, so if you know anything about the family I married into, you'll know that it's STRONGLY ruled by The Sisterhood. The matriarchs of each family. They are masters and we are their pawns to do whatever they wish. Period. But there would be and could be no other way!
These women are T's mom and her three sisters!!
dum, dum, duuuuuuummmmm...

At least two (perhaps three? Maybe all FOUR???) of the sisters were gathered around Taylor and I wanting the classic "GroomJumpsUpInAnExaulted80'sPowerJumpWhileBrideStandsLikeFool" photo. Well, I cannot tell you how many millions of jumps they made T do, MANY, MANY MILLIONS. HILARITY!! With each jump, it got more and more femmy and dorky... Oh how I cracking up! He was begging to be freed from the jumping madness (Taylor's not one to jump Exultingly... he's more of a single-fisted-air-pump kind of guy).

Look again.
There's very little "Manly Groom" about this jump... he's weeping inside.
Still to this day he refuses to jump higher than 4 inches for me.
Scarred for LIFE.

This is me finally dragging the poor guy away from the rabid paparazzi... his legs were sore and swollen for weeks.
Not really... I tend to exaggerate.



Being married to Taylor these past five years has been insanely fun. We have the greatest memories.
Here are a few of them...


We went to San Fran as a semi-impromptu trip with our BFF's, the Bennetts. I really like this picture... I'm not sure why we felt like we needed a picture of us clinging onto each other like this... and is my leg starting to wrap around his?? How inappropriate. Especially in front of our geriatric posse!
ps. I love the cheerful chum behind us. He's totally stealing our thunder, but I'll let this one slide, this time!


Yes, it's true.
T feeds me like this every single day.
Fresh mangos, spoon fed, without a shirt on...
he's my very own Cabana Boy.

Except that this is just a pipe dream of mine...
I'm lucky if he tells me I have a piece of lettuce in my teeth within 36 hours of it lodging itself there. Nice.





Look what we made!!

She's spectacular, just like her Daddy




We make a great little unit. I do love my life.



Oh Taylor, I seriously am crazy, mad about you! Life is just succulent with you in it!
I love love LOVE you

You're not only the funnest person to be around, but you're the best tight-hugger in the world... I am so grateful to you, especially during my hard times... you're the most supportive person I know. Thank you for you unconditional love.

Happy Anniversary, T






**this ad was paid for and approved by Matthew Taylor Wilson**

I swear...
I'm not THAT cruel...

Didja Know???

HEY? Did you know that I like no LOVE taking pictures?

Oh, you did?

hmmm... you guys are astute, I'll grant you that!

Well, I have been quite a wusspansywieniekins for a LONG time now... and putting off (and off, and off) posting this particular post.

I love love LOVE taking pictures of people. People and Pictures... like two of my favorite things. If you add mint chip ice cream in the mix.... HEAVEN for me.

I've been doing some pro-bono shoots to get better at this whole photography shtuff and here's just a few of the pics I got from my dear friends (and their families).

Thanks to all who endured hours of me gallivanting them all over this little town, directing them horribly and intermittently throwing in my own 80's Power Jumps just to show off. (yes, I'm a woman of many skilz, one of which being a world-class 80's Power Jumper... I'll show you one day) You guys are the Real Pros!

The rules are as follows:
1) no clicking to enlarge photos-- it's just embarassing how badly I lack in the talent department.
2) after each and every picture, you MUST say to yourself, OUTLOUD, "Katy is a ROOKIE. She is a NOVICE. She relies on her husband to go out and get the Cheese if you will... and by Cheese, I mean cold hard cash... all $4.64 after taxes of it, baby." You don't have to add the Baby part at the end.

I met the Holloway's for the first time this day... we slurped up their brand spankin new bebe like a 7/11 Banana Fanta Slurpee... Baby Grace was edible.



Next, comes D'laney. She's my new little sister. I do love this girl.



Ain't she magnificent? I agree!

She's gorgeous! I love this last one of D because it's just HER. I think I must have said something really riviting... like, "did you know that cat urine glows under a black-light?" She's like, "dude, honestly... Cat Urine? During a Photo Shoot? Real professional".
Ok, so all that didn't really happen, but something really really close to it did.
ps. the cat pee.. it's true. not that i've checked.




How could I have photo shoots and not include our fabulous neighbors who are always willing to be my test subjects, the Hursts!!
They. Are. SO. Photogenic.


Hinder... you're a lovely little baby who is growing up to be a lovelier little dude and I love ya, baby!



So my next victim is Devon... Destry and D'laney (are you seeing the patterns here? Mama loves the D names and Katy loves the Killian girls!)
Devon is starting her SENIOR YEAR this year! Lucky girl (wait, what am I talking about? I haven't been in school since 2005!! I'm the lucky one!!! But enough about me...)

Watch out college boys, Devon's so pretty she's gonna break your hearts into a trillion little pieces. But she'll do it totally unaware and without malice... she's not that kind of lady.


Oh the torturous things I made her do. She's collecting "Saint Bucks" for all her patience with me.


Year 2010
Remember when you were a little munchkin and people would ask you what you think it's gonna be like in the year 2010 and you automatically thought of Flying Cars, Moving Sidewalks, people walking around in the latest Judy Jetson attire...
Oh, it was just me?
Psh.... whatev.



Next comes the WHOLE KILLIAN CREW!
Ok, I'm gonna say something that's gonna sound like an exagguration... but I assure you... IT'S. NOT.
If you want to know the recipe of a truly happy family who love each other and whose Best Friends are their own siblings.... look no further than the blessed Killians.
They really do have a relationship that every mother wants her kids to have.
Oh, did I mention Mom and Dad K have NINE kids. NINE beautiful, not wierd, not socially awkward, not a single black sheep kids. Oh the odds of that happening.. they just won the lotto in my opinion!


Freakin Fabulous Family!


The nine original kids... minus the three spouses and three grandbabies.


Oh! There you are little goobers!
Von Trapp Family, you can step aside now, the Killians got you beat.


This next little family I cannot say ENOUGH good things about.
They are officially their very own post.

Jessica and I worked together at the Plasma center... we were the ones wielding needles and chasing people down. We loved our jobs.

She is truly the most hilarious little lady I know... my side is starting to ache right this second just THINKING of her and all the crazy trouble we got into.

We tormented our boss... poor guy never knew what hit him. I think I still see him cower in fear when I go into the Center to fetch Taylor (oh, just so you know, T took my job when I quit to have a child... in fact, I believe it was the entire crew who started chanting, "Katy, Quit! Hire Taylor! Katy, Quit! Hire Taylor!" It was sort of hurtful, but catchy too. They loved me.

Ok, I'm digressing....

Bottom line:
Jessica+Katy+Awesome Pilates Moves on the Dirty Floor+ Mike B staring at us in horror = UTTER ENTERTAINMENT.

I KNOOWWW!!! They ARE the cutest little family in the Universe, huh?!!
Jessica married Kyle. Kyle is da bomb. He's one of those guys who you always walk away thinking, "oh man, couldn't have hand-picked a better hubby for Jessica. He's a gem"
There's no question that Kyle adores Jess and dotes over his two boys.


Chase, Chase, Chase.
*getting down on one knee, holding out a toy truck or car to him*
"Will you marry my daughter and make me the happiest woman in the world?"
(he wouldn't be impressed with jewerly or baubles... but mind you, if he gives Ava a princess crown, she's totally and utterly all his)


None of the moments I captured were forced AT ALL. They are just the most natural and easy going little unit ever.
PS. um Jessica. It's not fair that you've given birth like 45 minutes before the photo shoot and you look like a Gold Bar dipped in French chocolate.


Welcome to the world, Sweet Landon! You are precious and make me want a baby (if you know me AT ALL... you'll know that that's an earth-shattering statement said by yours truly)
but it's true.
He cuddled.
I cuddled.
We cuddled.


And YES, he IS smiling.
Landon is just THAT GOOD.
I'm blowing you cyber-kisses, dear baby.


Well, There you have it.
It was mostly for Ashly cuz I've been telling her I'll send her some samples of what I've been up to... but I figure I'd get this all down for posterities sake.

Hey you, Future Kiddies,
Yo Mama wasn't always the boring dork you see sitting on the couch watching her Soaps all day long. She was VIABLE at one point. So there.
Love, Mama

Playing Catch Up

The days are just flying by... before I realize it, a whole bunch of stuff has happened without me taking notes!

Here's the abridged version of what's been going on with the Wilsons.

First and foremost: Taylor's Birthday!!! We celebrated T's bday a little hair-brained and wonky this year.... but we figured we'd spread out the fun. The weekend before his Big Day (can you believe he's 28?! Can you say OLD???? Can you say DECREPIT? Can you say Katy's in TROUBLE for those last two comments?) Anywhooo.... we took a quick trip to Utah to see T's bro's and go to Lagoon, a little amusement park in little Farmington, Utah. But let me just tell you, the fun-O-meter was NOT LITTLE. We dropped Ava off at dear MamaSuisse's (THANK YOU, Cousin! oh and her name really isn't MamaSuisse... I just love how it sounds... it's her alter-ego bloggin' name- very cool) and we took off, with Adam in tow, to have ourselves a knee-slappin' good time.

I didn't even take my camera.

No, seriously, I didn't.

So if you have any sort of imagination... this is what it was like: the three of us running from ride to ride like giddy little schoolgirls. Except for the fact that we aren't little schoolgirls... not-a-one. We had a Riot of a time!

Then on T's actual birthday a whole week later- we gathered some of our buddies and hit the "Lake"... but really, it's a glorified pond... hey, we'll take what we can get, right?

We had a great time... a little barbecue, a little swimming, a little volleyball... A LOT of Fun!

Happy 28th Taylor!

To wrap up the Bday Celebrations, I just want to say: Happy Birthday, my Sweet Taylor. I'm very very glad you were born... and even more glad you chose ME! You're an outstanding Dad and a fabulous Husband. You're my bestie and dang it, I still find you yummy in every way... I love you, my Dear.


Ok ok, people stop dry heaving already... you did it to yourselves-- you should KNOW I'd say something icky and disgustingly sugary on T's birthday post! You KNOW me by now!


Moving on...
International Dance Festival was this whole week. We only went to one event.... the Street Dances and mini-parade, but it was very fun nonetheless.
We broke out the Hanbok (traditional Korean dress) that Hi Suk gave Ava last year and she was quite dazzled with herself. Ava kept spinning around and around calling herself "Princess". I wish I had that sort of self-love!

Taylor and I got a kick out of how many little girls just stared at her dress as we walked by. One girl even started crying that she wanted one too.... it was too cute

Ava got really REALLY pumped up when she saw the other girls who were in Princess Dresses like hers. She kept squealing, "PRINC-SESS!!! PRIIIINC-ESSSSSS!!!" and jumping and waving... if she wasn't so darned cute, I'd be a little embarassed-- she was putting on a SHOW!


SOME OF THE MANY FACES OF MIZ LOU

I just love her face.

As for our little status update: we are currently all SICK. We just can't kick this bug that's been hanging around for a couple weeks now. Ava and I were up all night taking turns being the sicky. Taylor is trying to take care of us and go to work on about 3 hours a sleep each night. We just played too hard, I suppose. So sleep, sleep, and more sleep is what we're up to these days.

And a BIG THANK YOU for my girl, Britt... I'm eternally grateful for amazing friends who, out of the blue, order fabulous dinner for my family and get it delivered right to my front door. But more than dinner, I'm thankful for your never-ending friendship.... youknowwhati'mtalkinbout! Thanks!